Sunday, May 11, 2008 10:58 PM
The Take
 by Fëanor

Fëanor's weekly comic book review post.

This is covering the comics from the week of April 30th. I'm a bit late with it, I know. So sue me! I managed to find everything I was looking for that week, except one book, a one-shot called Thor: Ages of Thunder, which I ended up finding the following week anyway; I'll review it in the next installment of The Take.

The Saturday after I bought these comics was Free Comic Book Day, but Sarah and I were in Rehoboth at the time, and to my horror I discovered that there were no comic book stores taking part in FCBD for miles around (the closest one was an hour away in Dover, and I really didn't feel like driving way the heck up there in the middle of my vacation). Luckily, a friend of mine agreed to collect some free comics for me up here in Philly, but I haven't gotten around to picking them up from him yet, so my reviews of those will have to wait.

Back issues and old data
Scalped Volume 1: Indian Country
Recent issues of Jason Aaron's crime noir set on an Indian reservation have really been blowing me away, so when I got my latest Amazon gift certificate (thank you, Amazon rewards Visa card!), I decided to spend part of it on a trade paperback collection of the earliest issues of the series. And I was not disappointed. Scalped has apparently been brilliant, powerful, thrilling comics right from issue #1. Of course, the fact that I've read ahead spoils some of the surprises, but the story and characters are strong enough that that doesn't really matter. In this volume, we meet Bad Horse and his whole dysfunctional family and learn some of the dark history that has led them all to this point. The art is fantastic, the characters complex and fascinating, and the way Aaron slowly lets us into their world, into their minds, and under their skin is just masterful. This is a work of art.
Thumbs Up

Astonishing X-Men Volume 2: Torn
Also part of my Amazon haul, this book collects issues #13-#18 of Astonishing. I started collecting the series around #21 or #22, so I'm nearly caught up on Whedon's run on the book - which is good, because it's about to end in a very special giant-sized Astonishing X-Men one-shot. This book certainly filled in a lot of the blanks for me and explained what the heck the deal was with the return of the dreaded Hellfire Club, and the disappearance of Scott's powers. It's also got brilliant art from the supremely talented John Cassaday throughout (the only thing I don't like is the way he draws Emma - as if she's a faded porn star); lots of that patented hilarious and clever Whedon dialogue (the scenes with Wolverine are particularly wonderful); and a thrilling, suspenseful, incredibly action-packed, high-speed story.
Thumbs Up

New releases
I Was Kidnapped by Lesbian Pirates From Outer Space!!! #1
I know, I know. But how could I resist a book with a title like that? Besides, it only cost me 99 cents. It's from a publisher called Platinum Studios Comics and, according to Zoe, already exists as a web comic. All of the art and writing and everything else was done by Megan Rose Gedris. This first issue introduces us to an average young woman named Susan who works very hard as a secretary and has no time for a boyfriend. One night after working late she's knocked out and kidnapped on the street by... well, just look at the title. When she wakes up, she finds herself on a spaceship and, after some wacky misadventures, finally discovers what's happened to her, and who she really is. The art has a cute, sexy, retro look to it, and the story is silly and entertaining. It's not utterly fantastic or anything, so I'm not sure I'll pick up another issue, but I'm not sad I bought this issue.
Thumbs Sideways

The New Avengers #40
This whole Secret Invasion thing is continuing to trick me into purchasing books I normally wouldn't buy, including this tie-in issue of New Avengers. It's written by Secret Invasion head honcho Brian Michael Bendis, and it jumps back in time some years to fill us in on some of the major things the Skrulls have been up to since being defeated in the Kree-Skrull War. Turns out the Skrulls have been working on better chameleon/cloning technology since way back then. And that they're now under the leadership of a Queen who's a religious zealot and prophet. We get to hear a little bit of how they planned and enacted their infiltration, and then at the end we find out which hero has been replaced by the Skrull Queen.

Because the story covers so much time, it necessarily has to make some pretty big jump cuts, but the pacing still feels a little unnatural and choppy. The way the attack on the Skrull Throneworld by Galactus is handled using just one wordless two-page splash seems particularly silly. Also, the writing and story are just not that interesting, and the reveal at the end is pretty ridiculous. The Queen supposedly selected the hero she would replace by finding the person in the position to do the most damage, but the character they show us is definitely not that person. She is utterly unimportant; even with Marvel's love of having everybody cameo everywhere, I never see her show up in any of the books I read. She's a lame character nobody cares about. If the Skrulls really wanted to do some damage, they would obviously have replaced Tony Stark, but the fans wouldn't have stood for that, so instead we get this. Lame.

After having said all that, I have to admit that Jim Cheung's pencils, John Dell's inks, and Justin Ponsor's colors combine to make this a very pretty book. And the story, though ultimately rather stupid and dull, did at least keep me interested enough to read through to the end. Still, that's not enough to save the book from a...
Thumbs Down

Avengers: The Initiative #12
I have very few excuses for purchasing this book. It's not even a Secret Invasion tie-in. But it is the end of the first major story arc for this title, showing us the graduations of the first crop of Initiative recruits. And I thought I remembered seeing some interesting scans of this title online (even though I really disliked the previous issue I bought). So I picked it up. And boy am I sorry. This thing is nothing but a giant piece of crap. It features a hearing about the recent problems at the Initiative training camp, intercut with the funeral proceedings for Trauma (which turn out to be... unnecessary), the presentation of medals to some of the recruits, a flashback that fills in some gaps, a quick graduation ceremony, and then a flashforward to give us an idea how the recruits are doing out in the field.

The hearing is ridiculous and unrealistic; the trainees are all really lame characters that I don't care about (I still just can't believe this Slapstick asshole really exists), who have lots of lame, melodramatic, ridiculous dialogue; the coming back from the dead scene is stupid and cliche; and the ending is corny. The only marginally entertaining scene (it got a chuckle out of me) is Gyrich's resignation (but even that scene is hard to believe - how could Gyrich be that stupid?). The worst scene in a book full of bad scenes is the one in which a character reveals he's a Skrull, and then explains how he's not going to be detected, all via incredibly ridiculous, exposition-laden thought bubbles. It's so terrible I couldn't believe it was happening even while I was reading it.

Of course, if I'd looked closer at the credits for this issue, I could have guessed it was going to suck and avoided buying it at all. And why is that? Because it was co-written by my nemesis, Christos Gage. I really don't understand how that guy keeps getting work. He's a terrible writer! The other fellow on writing duties is Dan Slott, whom I didn't have an opinion on one way or the other before now, but who is now going on my "bad authors" list (yes, I have one).
Thumbs Down

The Order #10
I'm afraid I'm going to have to move somebody else on to my "bad authors" list, and that's Matt Fraction. At one point I thought this guy was a bright new star in the comic book firmament, but I've been disappointed by him again and again since then, and I think I'm just going to have to give up on him entirely now. This is the last issue of pretty much the only series by him that I was still reading, and it ends with a pathetic whimper. The character we're focusing on this issue is Pepper Potts, and her interview with Tony is taking place after the main events of the story. Through flashbacks we learn what happened to the team after the events of issue #9; how they were saved by Iron Man; how they stole a S.H.I.E.L.D. vehicle and headed out to save L.A. and Mulholland Black; how they succeeded, but in a tragic way; and finally, what will happen to the team now. The problem is, the story and the characters just don't gel in this issue at all. Some essential spark of life is missing. Maybe it's partly because what's going on with Mulholland Black doesn't make a lot of sense, and isn't entirely believable. But also, the dialogue throughout is just not very good, and none of the people come off as realistic, well-rounded, or even interesting at all. I don't care very much about anybody in this comic, and I really don't like the way Potts is portrayed, especially at the end - the way she gets all blubbery and essentially falls gratefully into Tony's arms. And the very end is really quite corny, cheesy, and melodramatic. It's a really disappointing conclusion to what was actually a pretty good book. The positive result is, now I'm not sad that the comic was cancelled, and I really won't care if these characters disappear off the face of the Earth.
Thumbs Down

Black Summer #6
There were some bad comics this week, but thankfully I had Warren Ellis to console me. The sixth issue of his Black Summer miniseries is, like all the previous issues, packed with incredible acts of extreme, super-human ultra-violence, drawn with stunning, awful beauty by Jaun Jose Ryp (my only complaint about his artwork is that it's often so full of stuff that it's hard to tell just what exactly is going on, and I have to stare at it for a long time before I can make it all out). Black-and-white flashbacks further fill in who the Guns are, where they came from, and why they do what they do. Then we get a nice, apocalyptic conclusion. Definitely looking forward to seeing how this all wraps up.
Thumbs Up

Ultimate Human #4
The final issue of Ellis' miniseries set in Marvel's Ultimate universe, and following Iron Man's attempts to cure the Hulk, and the Leader's interference in said attempts, is just as insane, hilarious, and fantastic as all the previous issues. Cary Nord's pencils and Dave Stewart's colors continue to work together to create some really awesome images. The Ultimate Hulk depicted here is seriously fantastic - visually he's an enormous, incredible powerhouse, exploding out of Banner's body and flinging men around like dolls, and Ellis' dialogue for him is very funny. And in the end, the Banner/Hulk character arc turns out to be quite moving, and very much in keeping with the core elements of every version of the character. Plus, there's lots of satisfying action and violence, including a scene where some dudes get hit by a plane. That's good comics.
Thumbs Up

Jack of Fables #22
This issue, which may very well be my favorite of this series so far, jumps back in time to 1883 to tell the first part of the story of the brutal Jack Candle and his gang of vicious robbers, who ravage the countryside until some other Fables catch on that one of their kind is showing off and send someone to take care of the problem. There's lots of great historical touches, as well as plenty of wonderful dialogue and narration. It's actually quite a bit darker and more serious than this series normally is, but if anything it's just more excellent for all of that. And anyway, there is some dark humor, and then a completely gratuitous bit of fan service at the very end in the form of a Babe the Blue Ox sequence, which isn't as funny as previous sequences of that sort have been, but is still pretty wonderful. In the back of the book is a preview of the first issue of the authors' new series, House of Mystery. It's a slightly unorthodox preview in that they've included the first couple pages of the issue, but shrunk them down so they could fit commentary in the margins by other Vertigo stars. It's a clever idea, although it could perhaps have been executed a little better. I'd already planned to pick up the book (and indeed, as of this writing, I already have); this preview didn't really sway me one way or the other.
Thumbs Up

The Immortal Iron Fist #14
I gave up on regularly collecting this series a number of issues back, but something keeps drawing me back to it. This time the reason was that this is the final issue of the Seven Capital Cities of Heaven story arc and I wanted to see how it all turned out. What I ended up seeing are all the things that made me drop this book in the first place: a rather dull story, unbelievable plot elements, uninteresting characters who do unlikely things, corny dialogue, and the simple fact that overall the comic is just not that good. Sure, it's got a lot of action, and the art is quite nice, but mostly it just leaves me cold. Another reason to stop buying books by Matt Fraction.
Thumbs Down

Caliber #1
This book, along with Hercules #1, reviewed below, is one of two comics released this week that are the first to come out of Radical Comics, a brand new comic book publishing house. This one is a retelling of the King Arthur legends, but moved up in time to the 1800s and set in the American west. "Merlin" is a Native American shaman who is both our main character and narrator. His visions lead him to a magical and legendary pistol known as Caliber, but once he finds it, he realizes he must now seek out the one man who can wield it, or the world is doomed. He thinks he's found the man in the person of an honorable soldier named Captain Pendergon (whose name is a version of King Pendragon's, for those playing along at home). But of course we all know the person really fated to hold the gun is Pendergon's young son, Arthur. Meanwhile, Merlin's hot girlfriend Morgan plots to steal his visionary powers for personal gain.

The premise here is a pretty neat one, and it's executed fairly well. There's some corny dialogue, but nothing too heinous. The problem is, there's nothing too exciting here, either. Sure, the art is nice, as is the quality binding, and cheap $1.00 price. But it just didn't interest me enough to make me want to pick up another issue.
Thumbs Sideways

Hercules #1
This is not a new title from Marvel, but the second of Radical's two first offerings this week. It's all about the actual Hercules from Greek myth. It's set after he performed the Twelve Labors, when he and his buddies are hired as mercenaries to fight the Thracian War. But trickery combined with a fateful atmosphere of hate and rage leads Hercules and his friends to perform some pretty terrible acts of violence - only to discover that a much bigger fight awaits them, one it seems they cannot possibly win.

This is a relentlessly dark, depressing, violent, and oppressive book with way too much narration and some pretty poor dialogue. The story is confusing, not because it's complicated, but because it's so poorly told. There are so many characters and they're so poorly defined that they all kind of blend together into one big mass of bland humanity. The art is kind of okay, but it's also nearly as muddled and relentlessly dark as the story. In other words, I have very little positive to say about this book. I doubt I'll be checking out any more of Radical's offerings after this week's mediocre initial showing.
Thumbs Down

DC Universe 0
This is a one-shot DC put out to kind of bridge the gap between their big weekly Countdown series, which just ended, and Final Crisis, which is on its way soon. I plan to try Final Crisis, and what with this obviously being an important book to read for anybody who wants to keep up with what's going on in the DC Universe, and what with it also being written by Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns, who are a bit uneven but who have also produced a lot of truly great comics, I felt obligated to pick it up. Plus, it's hard to beat the price: only 50 cents!

The story is narrated by a mysterious entity who at first seems large and amorphous - a personification of the universe/multiverse itself, perhaps - but slowly resolves into a single person, and one we know well; the surprise on the final page is the rather subtle reveal of his identity. Bringing this character back is probably going to bother a lot of people (like me; I think it's kind of lame), but excite many more. It's actually such a big deal that it even got reported by some major news outlets, whose stories about the event totally spoiled the end of this book with no warning whatsoever. Ah, well.

Anyway, the book opens up with a primer on the major DC heroes, and on the nature of the multiverse, and then gives us a very short history of previous crises. Next we get to see each of the big DC heroes threatened with deadly danger. Superman, along with the Legion, is fighting those pesky shadows or phantoms from the first crisis; Batman is learning from the Joker that some very bad people want him dead; Wonder Woman's enemies are arraying against her - it looks like she's going to have to fight the 300 Spartans or something; there's a weird two-page splash giving us glimpses of the events that will lead up to the Blackest Night that the Green Lanterns are all so afraid of; then a vague interlude about the Specter; and finally a lame scene with some kind of crazy new religious villain who's trying to pull in a bunch of other villains to help him with some big scheme. The book is way over-narrated, the dialogue is quite terrible, and even the art is bad. At the end I didn't feel like I'd learned much of anything except that there's a lot of impending doom and our heroes are in trouble - but what else is new? This crisis is shaping up to be just as lame as all the other crises. I wish DC could pull it together and do a decent huge event book at some point.
Thumbs Down

Green Lantern #30
Part two of Johns' retelling of Hal Jordan's origin story opens with Jordan's first adult meeting with future love interest Carol Ferris, which doesn't go very well. Then we get to see Abin Sur fall prey to fear, be mortally wounded, and pass his ring and duties on to Jordan. Jordan briefly freaks out, but quickly falls in love with the ring, and then before you know it he's saving people and beautiful women are falling into his arms.

I'm not a huge fan of this issue - it's just not that interesting or exciting - but I do really like the scene wherein Abin Sur is defeated by his own fear, and of course seeing Jordan get the ring and use it for the first time is very cool.
Thumbs Sideways

Action Comics #864
This issue picks up immediately where the last one left off, with Superman having just come back to the future. He's still sitting around talking over old (future) times with Lightning Lad when Batman shows up and tells him he's found two dead bodies with Legion flight rings on their hands. Turns out it's the totally lame Karate Kid (who died during Countdown, I believe) and somebody named Duo Damsel. Batman, Superman, and Lightning Lad have a pointless conversation with a crazy guy named Starman (no, not that Starman; it's a different guy), and then at the very end we find out who the guy is who's been narrating the story all this time: it's some villain I'd never heard of who looks like Mumm-Ra.

Geoff Johns really confuses me. I just got done reading his previous story arc for Action Comics about Superman and the Legion, and it's totally brilliant and fantastic. Then he puts out another issue of Action Comics, also about Superman and the Legion, and it's a complete stinker. Maybe he's distracted by all the other work DC has him doing? I don't know. The point is, this thing has lame dialogue and narration, a poorly written Batman, a boring plot, and a stupid villain. The art is also pretty terrible, but at least that's not Johns' fault; it's Joe Prado's fault.

I'll keep collecting Action Comics for now, because that Legion story arc was just so very good, but I really hope Johns turns the quality back up soon.
Thumbs Down
Tagged (?): Comic books (Not), The Take (Not)



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