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| Saturday, June 7, 2008 04:11 PM |
| (Last updated on Friday, September 26, 2008 03:00 PM) | | On the Viewer - Kaiju Movies |
 by Fëanor |
poppy and I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and poppy discovered not long ago that one of the things that calms her in high stress situations is watching stupid monster movies, so we rented a couple of them from Netflix. The first was Godzilla vs. Megaguiras (2000), which opens with a long expository intro explaining the backstory of Godzilla and the soldiers who've tried to destroy him. In this version of the Godzilla story, Godzilla is attracted by nuclear power and by a new alternative energy called plasma power. So Japan has banned nuclear and plasma power so as not to attract the creature anymore. But just in case, a special defense group is still developing a super-weapon to destroy him, should he ever return. Said super-weapon, believe it or not, is a gun that shoots small black holes!! Oh, and the black holes are helpfully disposable, and just disappear after they're done destroying something. While testing the black hole gun one day, the Godzilla defense force unwittingly mutates a modern day insect into a deadly, gigantic insect from the dawn of time - or maybe they create a worm hole through which an ancient insect travels into modern times? It's never really well explained, and in defense of the Godzilla defense force, either event is a really unlikely side effect of firing a black hole gun. Anyway, a kid thinks it's a good idea to pick up a giant egg left behind by the insect which he finds in the forest and take it with him when he moves to the city. When it starts getting all wet and nasty, he decides to drop it into the sewer, where tons of new insects (called Meganurons) are born. They grow into flying monsters called Meganuras. When Godzilla shows up (he's attracted to a secret lab where plasma power production is illegally still going on, due to a politician's greed and corruption), the Meganuras attack him for energy, while humans try to kill Godzilla and the Meganuras. At some point, seemingly overnight, the city is flooded, putting some parts of it under hundreds of feet of water, and other parts under only ankle deep water. No idea how that works. Anyway, later one of the Meganuras becomes a truly gigantic queen insect called Megaguiras, which inevitably faces off with Godzilla, while the humans try to shoot both monsters with their black hole gun.
Which actually sounds pretty awesome. And indeed there are some pretty fun fight sequences between Godzilla and Megaguiras. But there's also a bunch of really annoying human characters cluttering up the movie, and they're all portrayed by really bad actors, and a number of them have really melodramatic backstories. One of them is a tech geek guy who invents all kinds of incredibly unlikely and hard to believe software and gadgets. Another is the kid who ends up dropping the egg into the sewer and causing so much trouble; the weird thing about him is that he's entirely a plot device. He's in the movie just long enough to create the bug problem, and then only shows up again in a very short scene later on where he's running from Godzilla with everybody else. Lame!
The movie has its moments, but it's way too long, and it's painfully stupid, even for a monster movie.
Thankfully, we also rented Gamera, Guardian of the Universe (1995), which I found to be a highly entertaining film with a surprisingly interesting and well-told story. If you've never heard of Gamera, he's sort of like Godzilla, except he's a giant turtle that can fly. Also, whereas Godzilla as a character is usually in a moral gray area, causing great destruction and death but often ultimately helping humans, Gamera is pretty much always only helpful; in fact, he's often referred to as a "friend to all children." This particular film is a reboot of the Gamera story (the original Gamera was made in 1965 and was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000). When giant birds suddenly show up on a small island and start wreaking havoc, an animal expert is called in to figure out what's going on, and to help capture the rare animals. Meanwhile, a mysterious moving atoll appears in the ocean and starts scaring the crap out of ship captains. Some navy guys finally catch up with the atoll and land on it, discovering a bunch of small amulets made of a strange metal, and a large plaque engraved with runes. Then the atoll is on the move again. The animal expert is trying to capture the giant birds in one of those big stadiums with a closing dome roof when the guy who examined the atoll shows up to warn them that his atoll is coming directly at them. Due to poor planning and execution, a couple of the birds get away, but in a fantastic introduction scene, the atoll (now revealed as a giant turtle) pops right out of the water and gives one of them a serious smackdown. The third bird gets away, and the turtle does as well. But hey, what about those runes and those weird little amulets? When translated, the runes speak of a shadow of evil named Gyaos, and a guardian named Gamera. Based on this information, and the examination of some of the physical evidence, the humans engage in some wild speculation and decide that an ancient civilization created the flying dinosaur-like creatures named Gyaos, but it was a mistake and the creatures destroyed their creators. Before that happened, these ancient people created the guardian named Gamera to protect future people from Gyaos. Meanwhile, the Gyaos went into stasis, waiting for the right time and the right climate in which to reawaken. Modern people gave them the climate they needed thanks to pollution and global warming, which is why they came back. As for the weird little amulets, a girl gets her hands on one and through it a psychic bond is formed between her and Gamera. The military is still convinced they can capture Gyaos, and they also decide they should destroy Gamera. Luckily, things turn out for the best in the end.
The story concept here, while a bit hard to believe, is nevertheless interesting, creative, and fun, and the way it's slowly revealed is actually quite clever. The characters aren't exactly complex, but they're at least not annoying, and some of them are quite hilarious (such as the cab driver who runs a military blockade simply because he "always wanted to do that"). As for the action, it's thrilling and fantastic. Gamera is awesome and gets to do some serious ass-kicking. At some point during the movie, I actually said out loud, "I think this might be the best movie ever," and I was only half-kidding. This thing is a ton of fun, and not nearly as stupid as your average monster movie. Thumbs up! |
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