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| Sunday, March 1, 2009 09:06 PM |
| On the Viewer - Frankenstein Conquers the World |
 by Fëanor |
When I saw that poppy had added this film to our Netflix queue, I assumed it would be a fun Frankenstein B-movie, possibly in the Hammer tradition. When we received it in the mail and I read the description, I realized it was something entirely different, and way more awesome: a kaiju movie featuring a giant Frankenstein's monster fighting Baragon, the burrowing lizard monster from the Godzilla movies! (Although, interestingly enough, according to Wikipedia, Baragon was actually introduced in this film.)
We open in Germany during WWII where, in an entirely wordless sequence, a German mad scientist in his castle is forced to hand over a giant chest to some soldiers. We learn later that the chest contains a beating heart - the heart of Frankenstein's monster (a monster which is constantly and erroneously referred to as just Frankenstein throughout the picture), in fact, a heart that is somehow invincible and immortal. The heart ends up being passed from a German submarine to a Japanese submarine. The German submarine is bombed and destroyed immediately afterward, but the heart is taken away by the Japanese and brought, for safekeeping and for further study, to the city of... Hiroshima! D'oh! Before they can really get into their experimenting, the city is bombed. We jump ahead in time 15 years and meet American scientist Dr. James Bowen (played by Nick Adams of all people, who was clearly speaking English to be dubbed over with a Japanese voice later), who is doing research at the hospital in Hiroshima. He and his assistant, Dr. Sueko Togami, have the hots for each other. One night the two of them get a brief glimpse of a strange, savage boy on the streets of the city. He seems to be surviving by killing and eating wild animals. Oddly, people are constantly referring to him throughout the film as a waif. "Look, it's a waif!" "There's a waif up there! Let's all go check it out!" Anyway, all of the sudden it's another year in the future and Sueko and Bowen run into the waif again in a cave on a beach. They somehow recognize him immediately, even though they only saw him once before across the street in the dark a whole year ago. They take the kid back to the hospital and take care of him there. He starts growing at an alarming rate, and will occasionally lash out in fits of violence, so they chain him in a cage. Meanwhile, Kawai, the captain of the sub from earlier in the movie, now working at an oil factory, witnesses a strange glowing under the ground after an earthquake near the factory. (In fact, it's Baragon coming up out of the earth, but sadly we won't see him again for a long time.)
Bowen's assistant, Kawaji, confers with a specialist who suspects the waif has the heart of Frankenstein's monster, and suggests that they try cutting the kid's arm or leg off. If it grows back, they'll know he's got the heart! Great idea! Sueko's against lopping the kid's limbs off for some reason, though. (I find it hilarious that they never consider just giving the boy a small cut to see if it will heal really quickly, or maybe just cutting off a finger. Nope, it's a whole arm or nothing!) They agree to wait and consider it further, but Kawaji is just really excited about hacking a limb off and goes down to the giant waif's cage alone to try it. Some reporters show up at the same moment, however, and Kawaji sort of shoves his hacksaw in a dark corner and decides it'll be all right for the reporters to take a few pictures. But of course, as we know from innumerable monster movies, bright lights and flash photography enrage monsters, so Frankenstein flips out, breaks free, and takes off. While Frankenstein is on the loose, eating animals and even trying to trap a boar (where'd he learn to set animal traps??), Baragon is also on the loose, freed by that earlier earthquake and ravaging the land! However, Baragon attacks from underground and kills pretty much everybody he meets, so no one alive has seen him, and everyone naturally assumes the only giant monster they know about - Frankenstein - is the one causing the damage. The military, therefore, goes after Frankenstein, while the scientists anxiously try to convince them to take it easy on the giant waif, or at least save them an arm or a leg or something. Ultimately, after talking with Kawai and poking around themselves, the scientists realize they have another giant monster on their hands. The military doesn't really believe them, so the scientists get together, rent a helicopter, buy a bunch of meat, and try to lure Frankenstein out and capture him themselves. Kawaji is still convinced Frankenstein is too dangerous to live, however, so he goes after him with bombs. Bowen tries to stop Kawaji, but all the sudden Baragon shows up and they turn their attentions to that monster. Baragon threatens Sueko, but Frankenstein, who's always been sweet on her, intervenes, and finally, at long last, the two giant monsters get into a serious battle. It's a pretty good one, too! And it ends in a bit of a draw; both monsters disappear under the earth.
I wish I could get across how ridiculous and insane and fantastic this movie is. Why does this kid have the heart of Frankenstein? How did that happen? Why is he growing really large? And then he fights a giant underground lizard! It's just brilliant. I highly recommend it. |
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