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| Friday, July 7, 2006 11:12 AM |
| On our trip to Vegas |
 by Fëanor |
First of all, anybody who tells you that 104 degrees won't really feel that hot because it's a "dry heat" is a filthy liar and you can tell him/her so from me. 104 degrees is punishingly hot, whether it be dry or wet or merely moist. We walked around in 104 or more degrees of heat for a lot of the time we were over there, so I can say this with experience. It felt like I was slowly withering and dying. Thankfully we were often able to escape into various air-conditioned hotels and casinos.
A bit of advice: if you are in Vegas, and a seemingly nice gentleman or lady asks you how long you're staying, and/or if you're married ("To each other?" was one time the hilarious follow-up question), KEEP WALKING. Do not stop. Do not speak to this person. IT'S A TRICK! THEY'RE TRYING TO TRICK YOU!
Also, obviously, if they just come right out and say "time share," begin running.
Yes, we didn't learn our lessons from the incredibly true-to-life "South Park" episode about time shares, and got sucked into such a scam. Before we even checked into our hotel, practically as soon as we arrived on the strip, we were accosted and tricked! It didn't sound so bad - go to a presentation of a new resort, and you get tickets to a show for cheap! Thing is, they're not really cheap, because you pay for them with an agonizing three hours of your life.
Still, eventually we got out of there, and got to see The Tournament of Kings that night at the Excalibur. ToK is one of those things where they pretend you're dining in a medieval arena; you eat with your hands while watching a bunch of guys joust and stuff. It was pretty great. The food, as it was pretty much everywhere else, was excellent and plentiful - everybody got their own small chicken to tear apart and eat! Along with veggies and "dragon blood soup," which was sort of like spaghetti-o's without the o's (and I mean that as a compliment).
The show was pretty impressive and fun, though surprisingly brutal. Pretty much everybody gets killed by the evil dragon knights! Anyway, we were in the Ireland section, so we cheered and huzzahed loudly for the Irish king.
We went to a number of buffets, until at one point I wanted to go anywhere but a buffet for dinner, mostly so somebody could serve me for a change and I could sit down and rest for a while. We also, of course, did some gambling. (They aren't kidding about the gambling in Vegas, btw; there are slot machines in the airport, and I don't mean somewhere in the middle, I mean at the gate, as soon as you step off the plane.) Mostly slots, and then one night blackjack, which we were talked into by Leo. And I'm glad, because I was surprised to find that blackjack can be a lot of fun (despite the fact that some people at the table weren't too happy with my playing style, as I learned later). I sat down with $20, played for a good while, and then walked away with the same $20, which as far as I'm concerned is a mighty victory.
What else? We stayed in the Luxor, which is a huge, impressive, lavish place, like every other place in Vegas. Or at least, it's huge, impressive, and lavish until you get to your room. Don't get me wrong, it was a nice enough room, it was just kind of anticlimactic after seeing the rest of the place. Probably the more expensive rooms are more luxurious.
I also wasted a bunch of money in the Luxor's arcade, and arcades are always a good time. I played a weird Japanese sword-fighting game where you have to wave around this little handle to make the guy swing his sword. I probably would have been better at it if some of the instructions had been in English instead of entirely in Japanese.
We also visited the Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton, as instructed. They've got guys walking around dressed as Borg and Ferengi who stay in character the whole time. We got tickets that could have gotten us in to ride both Star Trek rides, but really only had the time and the patience to do one, so we went with the Klingon Encounter, which was fun (the new ride is called the Borg Invasion 4D - and btw that 4D thing really bugs me; the fourth dimension is time! Everything is 4D! We're living in 4D right now!). They basically make it seem as if you've actually been transported into the Star Trek universe, and then put you on one of those rides where you watch a movie and they shake you around. The interesting bit here is that our group just happened to include a group of VIPs, one of whom was the guy who actually created the ride!
Then there was the inevitable gift shop, where I picked up an amusing T-shirt and a bottle of Romulan Ale, which I have yet to drink (I'm waiting for the right occasion - maybe Kirk's birthday? When is that?).
I also had a souvenir photo taken in the Borg assimilation chamber. Then, I was assimilated. We are Borg, and so forth.
I'm probably forgetting some other fun and interesting things that happened, but this entry is quite long enough as it is, so I'll quit here.
Oh, one more thing: I think, appropriately enough, that I came the closest to being drunk as I've ever been while in Vegas. The funny thing is, I started feeling loopy after only one glass of wine, and I've definitely drunk more than that before without any ill effects. Maybe I hadn't had enough fluids or something? Anyway, it was fun. |
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