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| Sunday, March 6, 2005 05:06 PM |
| A Quick Note |
 by Fëanor |
I just finished watching Lady Terminator. I would describe the film, but Yagathai has already done such an excellent job, there's no need. Needless to say, it is spectacularly horrible. But, it is also horribly spectacular--what with all the nudity, sex, extreme violence, ridiculous dialogue, laughably inept "acting," and a complete disregard for continuity and logic. My favorite character was easily Snake, a gum-chewing, mullet-sporting, expletive spouting, violence-loving "policeman." When our hero, a doll-like, brainless thug of a cop named Max, tells Snake to "Get the panzer," Snake appears suddenly out of nowhere poking out of the top of a tank, spraying bullets at the Lady Terminator's car (which is nearly as invincible as she is for no particular reason), and screaming, "Fucking A!" in a most endearing fashion.
Of course, the entire second half of the film would have been completely unnecessary if any of the characters had realized the obvious fact that the magical knife that Erica got from her grand uncle was the only weapon that could kill the Lady Terminator. If anyone had figured this out, somewhere between fifty and a hundred people could have kept their lives instead of being needlessly slaughtered by the Lady Terminator, and the film would have mercifully ended much earlier. But then again, we also wouldn't have been treated to my favorite scenes with Snake. So, maybe a fair trade-off.
I had a hard time deciding what to rate this film. It's so totally awful, and yet so entertaining. But ultimately, I decided I couldn't reward such completely inept filmmaking, and gave it the 0.
Which is not to suggest you shouldn't see it--oh no! In fact, if you get a kick out of watching terrible, terrible movies (and not everybody does--my friend Erik, for example, can't even understand the phenomenon of enjoying something for its very awfulness), I highly recommend it. |
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